Making Mommy Friends

I think urban moms, especially NYC moms, get a bad rap for being cliquey, unfriendly and competitive. Yes of course anywhere you go, you will meet some moms that are well, nicer & warmer than others, but finding mom friends in your city or town does not have to be intimidating. Trust me, the majority of us are friends-you-haven’t-met-yet, and looking for mommy friends too!

When I had my son, my life was already filled with many great people and I have a huge family that lives close. However, I have found it indispensable these past 16 months to have met so many neighborhood moms with kids around the same age as my son. When my son was five weeks old, I began to attend a weekly New Mom Meetup that I found on meetup.com. I was super scared at first, had no idea what to expect, braced myself for the worst, but went anyway. And by the third week, these meet ups had become the highlight of my sleep-deprived, caring for a newborn, life.

By the third or fourth week, I heard some moms talking about an online yahoo group for parents in our neighborhood and I gave one woman my email address to add me to the forum. A few days later she contacted me, inviting my son and I to a playdate at her apartment. And through that initial invite, I met more neighborhood friends and a weekly playgroup was born.

No matter where you live, it’s hard to make friends as an adult. Especially when you are not working or going to school. Attending a new mom group is a great place to start. You can look for one in your area on meetup.com or you can start your own meetup on that site. I know some hospitals offer new mom groups for women who delivered there, or if you are breastfeeding, you could look to attend a local La Leche League Meeting (I’ve been to them, they are not scary, the agendas are driven by the moms’ questions and concerns).

In my neighborhood, the YMCA and JCC offer new mom groups. Your Church, community center or Synagogue may hold something for new parents. Or again, request to start a group, really all you need is a time, place and a way to get the word out, people WILL come.  With older infants, you can take them to a library or bookstore story time where you will probably see the same faces each week. Or if you join a music, gym or swim class, you have the potential to meet some friends, all while enjoying an activity with your baby.

Otherwise, if you strike up a conversation with another mom at a playground, bookstore or coffee house, don’t be afraid to ask that mom for her email address or phone number. You might have to take yourself out of your comfort zone a bit, and be more assertive than you usually would. But remember, its highly likely that the other mom is in your shoes as well and would love and welcome an invitation for lunch, coffee, or to meet up at the park.

Who knows? You may end up meeting your life-long mom-BFF or at the very least find someone you can talk “shop” with.