Mommy Wars

I’ve really been hearing this term a lot lately, and unfortunately mommy wars do exist.   I usually try my very best not to get caught up in any of them.  I know that there is nothing wrong with having a strong opinion or feeling very passionate about an issue, but there seems to be a very thin line between that and being judgmental of someone else for no other reason other than the fact that they are different from you.

I’d like to think that I’m a pretty open minded person and not at all judgmental of others and their choices.  I do however  have certain choices that I’ve made in the parenting department that I feel strongly about.  I want to emphasis “I” feel strongly about them and they are the best choices for me and my children. This does not mean that my choices and ways of parenting are the best and will work for everyone.

I’m a firm believer in the, “You have to do what works for you and your family.”  If that is not what I do, then that is alright..honestly we can still be friends. I was actually pretty adamant about breastfeeding, however I know plenty of moms who bottle fed their babies.  I really never felt a need to even ask them why they didn’t breastfeed or start rattling off facts about why breast is best.

We are both moms who love their babies and are trying our best…isn’t that enough?  It was important to me, so that’s what I did.  I don’t need to tell everyone else to do what I did.  I think that if I closed myself off from any mothers just because they did things differently from me, I would really be missing out on an opportunities for friendship and most of all support.  I also believe that creating a support system is so important for moms to keep their sanity. After all, who else is there who knows exactly what you are going through?

Honestly, since I’ve become a mother I’ve found the best advice, support, and comfort from other moms.

The working mom vs. the stay at home mom.  This is one of my least favorite debates.   I’m a stay at home mom and I have some very good friends who made the choice to go back to work.  They are happy, their kids are happy and it works for their family.  I’ve heard way to many discussions where the stay at home mom accuses the working mom of letting other’s raise her children.

I’ve actually heard the working mom accuse the stay at home mom of not having any drive or motivation to do anything…so they stay at home to raise kids  These comments/arguments are not only hurtful, but  they separate mothers into competitive groups when we really should all be supporting each other.

Whether you breastfeed your child for 3 years or formula feed from day 1, whether you co-sleep or ferberize, work or stay at home, had a home birth or a c-section, home school, private school, public school, use pacifiers or don’t …the list goes on and on.  At the end of the day, we all have the same goal right ?  We love our children, we want what is best for them and we want to give them the tools they need to grow up to be good people.

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