Imaginary Friends Provide REAL Benefits

Imaginary friends have long been the topic of many kids and family TV shows as well as popular comic strips, but when your child suddenly has an imaginary friend you may be left with a lot of very REAL questions.

Shortly before I was due with our third child, my second son announced that his “friend” Jerry was coming over to play.  Jerry became a regular fixture in our house and even when we went out.  At one point I had to explain to the Sunday School teacher who Jerry was and letting her know he would be joining them for class that day.  We were regularly asked to speak to Jerry and would be corrected if we were addressing him in the wrong place.  As time went on, we learned of the details of Jerry’s life, which often changed from day to day such as his age.  When the time neared for me to deliver, Jerry was around even more and at one point Johnny announced that Jerry needed to stay with us because his mom was going to the hotel to have a baby.

At times I would worry about whether we were handling the Jerry situation properly.  But Johnny had always had a very active imagination, at points when he was a young toddler he would pretend to be different people or animals and would only respond if you addressed him as such.    So we continued to play along with Jerry.

As Johnny dealt with his feelings about becoming a middle child, there were many ups and downs with Jerry who often went through similar feelings.

When we spoke to friends and family about Jerry, I often felt a little isolated because very few people had experienced this with their children.  I only wish I would have done some research to to learn just how common this is.  I found this article online, Researchers take on imaginary playmates — for real by CECELIA GOODNOW (SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER REPORTER) which would have made me feel a lot better.

The article states that “by age 7, nearly two-thirds of children had had at least one imaginary friend.”

Marjorie Taylor, head of psychology at the University of Oregon and a leading researcher on children’s pretend play said, “The phenomenon of the imaginary friend is really misunderstood.  People thought it was rare — it’s not. People thought it was a red flag — it’s not.”

As his baby brother nears his third birthday, Johnny has all but forgotten Jerry.  But his father and I will hold his memory in our hearts for a long time.  It was a phase of sweet innocence and pretend play that we believe allowed Johnny to deal with his feelings in his very own way.  I only wish that someone could have been there in the midst of it to let me know that it really was alright, that we could and should embrace it.

Photo Credit: Thumbnail and Article photo