More Than JUST a Mom

Have you ever heard of a mom talking about how she’s lost herself, or that she just doesn’t know who she IS anymore?  It always breaks my heart to hear this because it doesn’t have to be the case.

Yes, I am a mom and a LOT of the time that IS who I am.  I mean, I have three kids who are still relatively young, I can’t really flee from my responsibility completely.  And I wouldn’t want to. I LOVE being a mom.  I truly love the sports and the scouts and all that goes with being a mom.

But that’s not all that I am. And I think that’s where some many get lost.  It seems to happen slowly, first you have a newborn and, well, you’re exhausted so the things we love take a back seat.  Then you have a toddler, often with serious separation anxiety so leaving them with random sitters isn’t an option, but neither is trying to scrapbook or attend a book club with a toddler.   The next thing we know we’re consumed with our kids activities.

We look back at the last few years and wonder where all our passions went.  If we don’t begin working to correct this imbalance it can often lead to resentment and eventually even depression.  I know more than a few marriages that ended, or came very close to it because of this.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  I know the list of excuses, trust me.  There’s not money for a babysitter, or you don’t have one you trust.  There’s just not time. Or you just don’t know where your passions are.  But regardless of where you are, or what your excuses, the key is simply to start somewhere.

A couple years ago, I found myself pretty secluded, aside from my online friendships, but I began slowly.  First it was a monthly (give or take) moms night out.  My husband stayed home with the kids and I went out, after they went to bed so I didn’t feel guilty about taking more time away from them since I work full time.  Then slowly but surely I began to find myself.  A random shopping trip with a friend here.  A nice lunch there.  And yes I do take some time away from the kids now, and yes I DO feel guilty about it most of the time, but that time away not only is good for me.  It renews my spirit.  It affirms my value as my own person, outside of being so-and-so’s mom.  And you know what, it’s good for my kids too because they learn best by example and what type of example am I setting if they never see me having a life of my own?

If you’re feeling like the ‘old’ you is slipping away, cease the moment today and make plans to get out and do something YOU LOVE!

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