Babysitter Break-Ups
Most of us believe that once we have found the love of our life and are married we would no longer have to deal with the infamous break-up. WRONG! A parent’s relationship with their child’s babysitter can be similar to finding a significant other. Breaking up with a babysitter can be just as emotional as breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The same age old questions apply: How do you know you will find someone else? Are there better sitters out there? What if you cannot find another one right away?
How is breaking up with a babysitter similar to breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Like a great first date, parents can experience an emotional high when they come home after a wonderful night out (without the kids) to learn that their little one ate, behaved, and went to bed without any problems for the new babysitter. You might even find yourself doing a little dance, like you did when you came home from a great first date, hoping that this babysitter will be reliable and dependable and that your interviewing days are over.
However, more times than not finding a sitter can be difficult. It is these situations that must be delicately handled. When a babysitter complains about having to stay late, is constantly disciplining your children, or is cleaning up your child’s mess, different parents handle the situation differently. Some parents speak their minds while others bear with it in attempts to avoid searching for another sitter. Another reason parents decide not address the problems at hand are because of fears that the babysitter will take their frustrations out on the child. What are the implications of the different approaches for you, your children, and the babysitter? Is there a right way to handle these situations?
When a babysitter decides to no longer care for your child, the feeling of rejection and loneliness may set in. How are you going get the downtime you desperately need? How are you going to find a new sitter? Are you going to be able to go out with your friends this weekend?
In attempts to mitigate a sitter “break-up,” take these points into account:
- When you choose a babysitter, you should ask a number of important questions. Some questions should be similar to those you would ask on a date because you want to make sure that your sitter’s personality mixes well with both yours and your child’s. The chemistry between your child and your sitter is important. At the same time, you need to ask job interview questions to inquire about the babysitter’s list of previous employers and their skills. If the babysitter starts to talk about obvious no no’s such as how their last employer was always late and that bothered them, they are going to view you the same way. Watch out the for the red flags.
- Check references, check references, and check references. When checking references, you should try to call someone that will be honest with you. If you call someone that does not know you personally, they are more likely to avoid any confrontation and will not give you an honest and accurate opinion, especially if it is negative. A friend of a friend should suffice because they probably will feel obligated to be honest with you. However, a person from the babysitter’s reference list might not. If you are going to use a reference off of the baby sitter’s reference list, you should meet the person face to face and ask a lot of questions about the babysitter.
- Manage the relationship with your babysitter in the same way that you manage your marriage or other relationships that are important to you. Be considerate of your babysitter’s time. While we all want to stay out later with our friends, you should respect your babysitter’s personal time like you would of other relationships in your life. If you would like to stay out later, call and see if the babysitter can stay later. DO NOT ASSUME ITS FINE! This strategy seems strange since the babysitter works for you, but it will assist you in maintaining a good relationship with your babysitter. Remember, the babysitter only works for you during certain hours and may have other events in their life that you need to be sensitive towards.
- Set all of your expectations right off the bat to avoid any potential confusion. It is important to communicate all of your expectations. Providing the babysitter with a written list of criteria is an excellent idea so that everything is set in stone and so it can be used as a reference, especially during the first couple of times.
If your babysitter isn’t working out for you, you may be asking yourself, “When should I let them go?” This is a very personal decision based on various factors. However if you identify your expectations BEFORE you hire a babysitter, the chances of having to go separate ways diminishes. Hope this was helpful. If you have any other questions feel free to leave a comment or drop us a line!
